You cannot do a kindness too soon,
for you never know how soon will be too late.
Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Tuesday, 28 April 2015
Sunday, 26 April 2015
Finding the Calm.
"Meditate Schmeditate", my mother-in- law, Dora once said to her son, my husband, Mark as he headed off one summer day in Long Beach to find a quiet bench on the boardwalk to attend to his twice daily meditation practice. From that day on, every time Mark would go sit down to meditate he would say to me, "I am going to go meditate-schmeditate" and we would both laugh about it.
Twenty minutes a day, twice a day for over thirty years. Rarely did Mark miss taking time out to do his meditation practice. When he was an educator in the New York City Public Schools, he rose 45 minutes early to meditate then showered, shaved, dressed, made his coffee and peanut butter sandwich (for the energy he needed in his high-stress -very- hectic- job as school principal) and then pack himself an apple, a few clementine's and some almonds. He would then get into his car to drive to East New York, Brooklyn. In my eyes Mark was a true enlightened warrior.
Mark took his training for TM in Manhattan in the early 1970's. Once, when I asked him what meditation was for him, he said something like this, "It helps me to focus meditation rests my mind. It helps me to relieve stress. helps me to come up with solutions to problems. I get more done."
I often noticed he seemed happier and more relaxed when he completed his daily meditations. I admire how he stuck with it day in and day out.
When I asked him if meditating meant he turned off his thoughts he said, "No, the opposite, what it does is that I just notice my thoughts and let them go while focusing on a mantra. " A mantra is a syllable or sound to keep your mind from wandering over to list-making and looking ahead to the busy-ness of the day ahead.
Meditation has become a bit of a buzzword. In a recent interview at the 92nd Street Y, Ariana Huffington spoke about the many CEO's who meditate including most famously the late Steve Jobs.
Studies using MRI's have shown that the brains of Tibetan Buddhist monks who meditate daily and for long periods of time have shown brains with increased gamma wave activity, which help with many cognitive functions including increased compassion, improved memory and test taking abilities. In short, Gamma brain waves are those that get you "into the zone ".
There are health benefits too. Science has shown that meditation can reduce stress, helps to lower cortisol, adrenaline production and in turn lower blood pressure.
In a recent article in the New York Times, The Path meditation center in Manhattan is focused on networking for fashion and tech millennials, through meditation. According to the article, many post-meditation deals have been made and jobs have been found. In Los Angeles, there are "Drybar" style meditation centers popping up.
If you ask me, meeting your true love or business partner by way of meditation is more promising than over cocktails at the latest trendy bar. At least you know the person is in the moment.
Additionally in another article it was shown that meditation has the potential to help students to increase their scores on the big tests such as the SAT and ACT exams.
It seems that Mark was really onto something so many years ago. Meditation served him well throughout his life, working in some very complicated situations in the school system and when he was losing his battle with cancer, meditation helped him to stay centered and uncomplaining even when I know he wanted to just scream.
It was because of Mark that I began my thirty year journey to yoga and meditation. As someone who is high energy, active and has the need to move, I found that for me to meditate I had to do a little yoga or dance around the living room, take walk or just move in seated circles to limber up and release excess energy. Then I could sit and enjoy the stillness. I am grateful to Mark for starting me on my yogic path. He used to say, "I have great instincts. I grew up on the streets of Brooklyn that taught me plenty about people." And I appreciate that he shared it with me.
Being a social person my favorite way to meditate is in a group with my fellow yoga practitioners it is there that the practice really unfolds for me.
But it is at home on my own it becomes something else. To do the practice is to commit myself to grace for a few minutes each day. Even for just 5 minutes to give my busy, monkey mind a break. Productivity does rise when I give my mind and my body a rest.
For those who want to give meditation a whirl there are many places to look. There are many different types of meditations to try on YouTube.com, where you can practice in your living room.
Do your best not to judge yourself. According to meditation teacher and American Buddhist teacher, Jack Kornfeld, it takes many lifetimes to master meditation so why not just enjoy it? There is no right way to do it. Just sit and it will unfold.
The UCLA Mindfulness Awareness Research Center is a good place to get some free training and introductions to meditation, marc.ucla.edu and look for the link to Free Guided Meditations. Or look on iTunes for both free and paid meditations.
There are also numerous APPS available to help you to learn.
Though when I think about it the whole concept is a bit of an oxymoron. Meditation App. Kind of like the old "jumbo shrimp". The idea is to turn down the noise in your head. If you can do that without checking text messages, putting phone on do not disturb then here are few apps to try some are free and some charge a fee:
Breathe2Relax helps you practice working with the breath,
Buddhify 2 short to long meditations and information,
Omvana has music, talks, guided meditations and much more. Search your APP store to see what's available read reviews try a few different types of meditation.
I have had great success being consistent with yoga nidra meditations I listen to on YouTube.com Google: yoga nidra and many variations will appearl
Yoganidra has been one of the building blocks of my being able to stand back up after losing my cherished husband Mark to cancer. Grief can be overwhelming. Yoga nidra let me be okay.
One thing I know for sure, meditation is neither weird nor complicated. It can be as simple as finding a quiet spot, closing the eyes and telling our mind to follow the breath. I say to myself, "breathe in, breathe out" until I don't need to say it I just follow it.
My best suggestion is to find a meditation center or yoga studio where meditation practice is offered.
Some, like Yoga Nanda in Garden City, NY offer free community meditation each week.
Or just find your calming place by simply doing what Mark always did: put on a cozy hoody and sit wherever you are.
Follow your breath and give your mind a rest.
Notice your thoughts as they roll by and let them go.
Keep following the breath for 5 minutes or longer. Make a date with your peaceful self.
Go find your calming place, I am betting you will be glad you did.
Nancy Mindes is a Coach U trained professional Attraction Coach who has helped hundreds of clients since 2000. Before she became a coach she worked in Corporate America at Elizabeth Arden, Merrill Lynch and The Fashion Group International. Writer, blogger, memorist.
She is a Peak Potentials certified trainer and motivational speaker.
her blog is at http://www.fancynancysays.comhttp://www.fancynancysays.com
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Saturday, 25 April 2015
Hi there, Ladies and Gents!
I hope all is well with you in the world.
I had a great experience yesterday. These things happen to me a fair amount. I usually don't talk about them, but now that I have this lovely blog, with which I can share, I thought that it might be a nice story to relate.
I had a patient visit me yesterday, with a concern. I checked her out and explained that she was fine. I talked her through it and reassured her. She left and in doing so, we wished each other well. I did not charge her any fees; I did not even think about it. She's a regular patient, a lovely, friendly lady and it didn't cross my mind. To me, it was a normal thing to do.
The receptionist came in a few moments later to ask if there was a charge. I replied that there wasn't. The lady was happy and came back in to thank me. I thought that was very sweet.
I resumed my usual activities and, not five minutes later, the receptionist returned with two bunches of flowers, one for me and another for my nurse. They were beautiful yellow tulips! Such a gesture of gratitude, for which I am grateful.
It never ceases to amaze me that when you treat people well, although you feel that it is simply normal behaviour, they will always appreciate what you do for them, be it a smile, a kind word, doing your job, or changing their lives.
Wishing you all a fabulous weekend,
Thursday, 23 April 2015
The Steps of Creation - How to Manifest What You Desire.
Step 1. Be clear about what you desire.
Step 2. Write it down in detail, by hand.
Step 3. Visualise it often.
Step 4. Act as though you already have it - with GRATITUDE.
Step 5. Take desired action.
You can be, have or do anything if you belief it.
Wednesday, 22 April 2015
Hi Ladies and Gents!
Have a great day!
I hope you are all well and enjoying this glorious sunshine.
I don't know if you are aware of the charity Care International UK. It fights poverty in 74 countries worldwide and aids in humanitarian disasters, amongst other things. I have been a supporter for a few years and would like to ask for your help.
Care is trying to raise money for their cause 'Life2Live' and this amount will be matched by the UK Government until a specific date, They are asking supporters to join in a 'Thunderclap'where a tweet or facebook message will be sent out to all supporters contacts at 11am on the 26th April 2015.
If your interested, please see the link in my previous post.
Have a great day!
Monday, 20 April 2015
How often do you find yourself wanting to finish something or to get something over with, rather than being in the moment with whatever is happening? How often does accomplishing the goal seem more important than being in the process? Why is it often more important to complete something than to savor the process, moment by moment?
My client Jacob always has a list of what he needs to do and he feels safe and worthy when he can check things off his list. His list keeps him busy with the next task and the next, leaving him no time to be present in the moment. When I ask Jacob, during a phone session, to go inside and feel what he is feeling in the moment, he tells me that it doesn't feel very good to be inside his body. He doesn't like to be present because he is often in emotional pain.
Margaret Paul, Phd.
However, it's a circular problem: ignoring his feelings is causing him the pain of self-abandonment. Avoiding the pain that he is causing by staying in his mind, focused on tasks, then causes more pain and emptiness. Until Jacob is willing to feel the pain of his self-abandonment, he will continue to create this pain with his addictive avoidance behavior.
An acquaintance of mine, Emily, is a talker, especially about herself. Talking keeps Emily from feeling the emptiness that is ever present within. Emily is rarely in the moment, either with herself or with others. She is so busy covering up her feelings with talking that she is unaware of others trying to get in a word edgewise. She is so out of the moment that she is almost completely unaware of the presence of others.
Aiden just can't seem to enjoy anything. Even when he does things he conceptually likes, he doesn't really enjoy them because he is so intent on getting them over with. Coming from a background of child abuse, Aiden learned when he was very young to just think about tasks and getting through the day as a way to survive. Not being in the moment as a child was part of his survival. Now, today, he is still in the habit of avoiding the moment, but now, as an adult, his avoidance actually creates more pain, the pain of self-abandonment.
I, too, used to avoid being in the moment. I had an intense busyness addiction. I didn't want to be in the moment because, whenever I tuned inside, what I felt was loneliness. I learned as a small child to avoid the feelings of loneliness by being very busy and productive, and I received much approval for my productivity. In fact, I was so good at it that I didn't even know I was lonely, and I didn't even know that I was addicted to busyness! Busyness was just one of the ways I had learned to avoid my painful feelings.
After starting to practice Inner Bonding and learning how to manage painful feelings, I finally opened to my loneliness. Whew! It was very intense when I first contacted this feeling. But as time went on and I learned to welcome, embrace, learn from and release this feeling, I learned not to avoid it. As a result, I find myself being more and more in the joy and peace of each moment. For me, life is now something to be lived and savored, moment-by-moment, rather than something to get through or around.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at email@example.com@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
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The human brain is more powerful than most of us realise....
Our thoughts create our experiences/our reality and ultimately our lives....
What are your experiences/thoughts??
Friday, 17 April 2015
The Law of Attraction can change all our lives if we understand it and believe it.
This amazing lady from Africa changed her life and achieved what many would have said were impossible dreams. She has shown that anything really is possible!
What do you think?
Sunday, 12 April 2015
Hi there, Ladies and Gents!
This, cheesily enough, is my first ever post on my first ever blog.
I have been reading personal development books since my mid teens and my interest has grown over the years. Anthony Robbins to Eckhart Tolle and many more have played a great role in my education and enlightenment. I have always felt that the improvement of mind, body and soul are not just worthwhile pursuits, but have the capacity to change all our lives for the better. We just need to reach out and embrace it.
I have enjoyed my life's journey and personal development journey thus far and I now wish to share my travels with those of you who wish to partake!
I will endeavour to share and discuss anything of relevance - or even anything irrelevant! - that may be educational, entertaining or simply enjoyable.
I believe that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
I invite you to come with me and enjoy the ride!!